Empathy vs. Sympathy: The Hidden Superpower?

Watching the video entitled “Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care” https://www.youtube.com/embed/IQtOgE2s2xI?rel=0&wmode=transparent , this video reminded me as a nurse and as a person that my empathetic awareness is a positive trait – not one to be hidden when I am engaging in my practice. I often wonder when I am passing a staff member, patient, or family member in the hall, what is your story? What are you struggling with today? What is your internal dialogue speaking about right now? Being an extreme empath already personally and professionally, I find I cannot let myself wander down this mental path for too long. Because like Amanda Marshall sang about, “everybody’s got a story that’ll break your heart” (Lyric Find, 2021).

The empathy I experience flounders between that and sympathy, which is also significant in nursing literature. According to Gerace (2020), empathy, sympathy, and compassion are considered fundamental to nurses’ work with patients. As well, Peplau (1991) describes the process of empathizing with a patient as being able to sit at the bedside of any patient, observe, and gather evidence on the way the patient views the situation confronting him, visualize what is happening inside the patient, as well as observe what is going on between them in the interpersonal relation. It is this moment when the nurse can understand the patient’s perspective and the ‘meaning of his experience’, they are then able ‘to function as an educative, therapeutic, maturing force.’

I used to view my high degree of empathy as a weakness, a flaw in my character that made me susceptible to emotional conflict as well as inability to compartmentalize and ‘just do my job.’ I actually used to observe healthcare professionals’ lack of empathy and compassion and aspire to be more like them. I recall listening to other nurses’ input on the concept of caring, i.e., ‘don’t let it affect you’ or ‘it’s just a job.’ I tried masking my empathy, sympathy, and compassion for years, eluding myself in thinking that I ‘didn’t have to care so much.’ What did it matter? 

As I came to learn, caring in my profession was all that mattered. Showing my sympathy, empathy, and compassion through my practice opened up for experiences I would not have otherwise been able to appreciate. Don’t get me wrong, not all encounters were filled with happy tears. But I was fulfilled in opening my heart up to the vulnerability of human interaction, and the beauty of the therapeutic relationships I formed. I held many hands, dried even more tears, and in turn experienced patients caring for me in those same moments. I experienced reciprocated understanding and empathy from patients and staff alike, recognizing the sensitive heart that lived under these hospital-issued scrubs. And so, I vowed to let my heart co-lead with my head in my nursing practice. This has followed me through the promotions in my career, and serves as a daily reminder when I am faced with empathetic dilemma.

In closing, the video mentioned above reminds me to allow space for empathy, sympathy, and compassion both in my practice and personal life. Allowing my heart to weigh in on clinical decisions still challenges me; finding the balance between the emotional, the spiritual, and the scientific still escapes me some days. This is where reflective practice enters the scene. Could I have handled that situation differently? What else could I have said in that moment to ease the family’s anxiety? Was I too sympathetic to that patient and increased their feelings of sadness with their recent diagnosis? It is a continuous balancing act. These are all questions I reflect on as I journey through my nursing practice and therapeutic communication skills. 

References

Everyone matters. (2013). If we could see inside others’ hearts: Life in 4 minutes.

Gerace, A. (2020). Roses by other names? Empathy, sympathy, and compassion in mental health nursing. International Journal of Mental Health Nursing, 29(4), 736–744.

Lyric Find. (2021). everybody got a story lyrics amanda marshall – Google Search

Peplau, H. E. (1991). Interpersonal Relations in Nursing: A Conceptual Frame of Reference for Psychodynamic Nursing. New York: Springer Publishing Company. (Original work published 1952).